Couchlympics Milano Cortina 2026: 10 Ways to Win Gold from Your Living Room
February 6th, 2026
Between curling's "hog line," figure skating's "twizzle," and hockey's "biscuit," we've pretty much got... honestly, a weird breakfast buffet. But hey, that's winter sports for you!
Hosting an Olympic watch party? Our gold medal bottle opener is the perfect way to celebrate every win.
Every two years, the Olympics give us all an excuse to dive into sports we definitely didn't try out for in high school. And learn strange new lingo while sitting on our couches in PJs. From hammer throws to pizza slices, here are 10 ways to embrace Couchlympics while the world's best athletes battle frostbite in Italy.
But first: Couchlympics. Enjoying the Olympic Games from your own home? That's what we call "Couchlympics"! Sit back, relax, and cheer on your favourites while embracing the spirit of the games from your cozy armchair. Whether it's figure skating, ski jumping, or curling (the sport that somehow combines housework with screaming), the Couchlympics lets you experience ALL the excitement without leaving your living room! 🛋🏅
And hey, if you're hunting for funny gifts Canada actually has in stock (sorry, we only ship within Canada), or just want some fun gifts that are actually unique games to add to your collection of board games and toys and games... well, you're in the right place. Danna Bananas is all Canadian, all weird, all the time.
Pasta Grande Silicone Kitchen Tools Every champion knows: carbs aren't a suggestion, they're a strategy. Carboload like you're doing the 50km cross-country while actually just crossing your living room.
01. The Hammer (Curling) Nope, not that kind. The curling hammer is your last-shot advantage. Channel that energy with our Tabletop Curling Game. It's the only Olympic sport you can play while holding a beer and nobody judges you. Pro Couchlympics tip: Yelling "HARD!" at your stones is mandatory. The neighbours LOVE IT.
02. Pizza & French Fries (Skiing) Skier slang for ski positions. Pizza (point tips together) to slow down, French fries (parallel) to speed up. You'll need both hands for Chicken vs Hot Dog. The only "skiing" you'll do is sliding across the carpet when you celebrate too hard.
03. The Twizzle (Figure Skating) Multi-rotational one-foot turn that looks effortless but is definitely NOT. Try twizzling while playing Pencil Nose Game. Same coordination required, but with 100% more nose-painting and zero risk of falling on ice.
04. G.O.A.T. Status (All Sports) Greatest Of All Time. While Milan watches legends, YOU can channel actual goats with Goat Yoga Party Game. Balance the inflatable goat while watching the biathlon. Nothing says "elite athlete" like downward dog with farm animals during commercial breaks.
05. Desktop Doping (Office Olympics) Okay, not actual doping. That's frowned upon. But for the corporate Couchlympics champion, Desktop Pickleball lets you dominate your desk while "working from home." Your Zoom background can be the Italian Alps. We won't tell.
06. Dumbbell Dwayne (Training Montage) Every Olympian has one. Yours features Dumbbell Dwayne doing reps on your coffee table while you practice your podium speech. "I'd like to thank my couch, my remote, and whoever invented the pause button..."
07. The Bucket (Hockey) Goalie mask. While you're watching pucks fly, protect your snacks with tactical precision. Takes the same focus as our Road Trip Packing Puzzle. Fitting everything into a tiny car trunk = same spatial genius as filling a goal crease.
08. Stuck in the Bobsled (Mental State) When you're so invested in the four-man bobsled that you forget you have to go... you know where when you drink too much. Pass the time with The Original Waterfuls Classic. The handheld water game that's as nostalgic as watching CBC coverage at your grandma's house in 1988.
09. The Kiss & Cry (Figure Skating) That emotional zone where athletes wait for scores. It's also where you'll be after trying to assemble IKEA furniture during the opening ceremonies. Keep your composure with a proper snack setup (see Pasta Grande, item #10).
10. Going Full Pasta (Après-Ski) Italian athletes don't carboload, they pasta-load. The Pasta Grande Silicone Kitchen Tools ensure you're equipped for victory. Because the only thing better than watching athletes burn 5,000 calories is consuming at least that many in ravioli-shaped spoon rests while you do it.
What you need for an Olympic watch party:
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Snacks and drinks
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A TV and good seats
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Team spirit
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A bottle opener you can actually find
Ready to compete? All Couchlympics gear ships Canada-wide from Danna Bananas... proudly supporting athletic excellence from your couch since 2006. 🇨🇦🏆 Go Canada Go!
