{"title":"Clearance","description":"\u003ch2\u003e🚨\u003cstrong\u003eBREAKING: Danna Bananas Declares a\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003eSTATE OF SAVINGS!\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e🚨\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 📢 ROYAL DECREE FROM THE THRONE OF BANANAS: By order of Her Majesty's Most Silly Government, a STATE OF SAVINGS is declared! All loyal subjects must stock up immediately to avoid FOMO... this is NOT a drill!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e🍌\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUnder Executive Order #BANANASAVINGS\u003c\/strong\u003e, we’re slashing prices on:\u003cbr\u003e✅\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHilarious novelty gifts\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e(perfect for that coworker who\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003ethinks\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ethey’re funny)\u003cbr\u003e✅\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eToys \u0026amp; games\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e(guaranteed to cause\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003econtrolled chaos\u003c\/em\u003e)\u003cbr\u003e✅\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eKitchen gadgets \u0026amp; home goods\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e(\u003cem\u003ebecause adulting is cheaper with 50% OFF!\u003c\/em\u003e)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e**🚔\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCLEARANCE VIOLATION ALERT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003eThese deals\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003edefy the laws of economics... \u003c\/em\u003eshop now before:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003eThe\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDiscount Police\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003econfiscate them 🚓\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003eYour inbox floods with\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\"WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?!\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003etexts from friends\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFOMO reaches critical levels\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e(and you’re left paying full price elsewhere)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e**🛒\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eYOUR MISSION (SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT):\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003col start=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eClick the deals below\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e(or face\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003eeternal regret\u003c\/em\u003e).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLoad your cart like a thrifty superhero\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCheckout before the\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003eSTATE OF SAVINGS\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eexpires!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ds-markdown-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eDeals won’t last!\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e👉\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/dannabananas.com\/collections\/clearance\"\u003e SHOP NOW—BEFORE WE’RE ALL OUT!\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003ePrices drop like bananas! 🍌\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"christmas-stocking-for-very-expensive-things","title":"Christmas Stocking for Very Expensive Things","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA novel way to present your lovely somebody with a little something special: let them wake up on Christmas morning to find this hanging by the fireplace!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGreat for all those little things, including socks, soap, jokes, ha-ha keys to a new car, etc.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: 12cms\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Danna Bananas","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39810018705607,"sku":"","price":2.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/9584\/5319\/products\/expensive-things-stockings.jpg?v=1731039112"},{"product_id":"froggyhat","title":"Froggy Pilot Hat - Hand Knit Woolen Hat for Kids","description":"\u003cp\u003eRibbit Ribbit - Meet the Froggy Pilot Hat, a fun and stylish accessory for kids. 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Drop one into your Mai Tai, take a sip and feel those balmy beach breezes?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFood-safe\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFreezer-safe\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFlexible\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnother great product from World Wide Fred\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Danna Bananas","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39810019033287,"sku":"","price":4.95,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0549\/9584\/5319\/products\/citrussippers_648b.jpg?v=1734362953"},{"product_id":"handlebar-corkscrew-bottle-opener","title":"Handlebar Corkscrew \u0026 Bottle Opener","description":"\u003cp\u003eBecause beverage containers are no match for the sheer power of a manly moustache. 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Just roll your dough flat, cut out your moustache, and press in the details. 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